I was born in Bahrain but grew up between Hong Kong, Singapore and the UK. I’m Chinese/British Eurasian but most people don’t realise because I have fair skin and green eyes.
Where am I from? Many years ago I settled on a short, easy answer for meeting new people: “I’m British from Hong Kong”. Hong Kong has always been home for me. (I like the German word "Heimat" for this, which has unique German connotations but roughly translates to homeland). But my Hong Kong, where I grew up, doesn’t exist in reality anymore for lots of different reasons. I decamped to Singapore a few years ago.
So where is home now? Honestly I don’t know.
How does that make me feel? Sometimes, if I’ve had a tough day, I can feel homeless, different, lonely, somewhat adrift. I question myself as a parent... Does this make my kids fourth culture kids? They’ve only ever lived in Hong Kong and Singapore. I asked them the other day where they feel that they’re from. They got as far as saying they think they are British but don’t know how to answer the question properly. The door to the “Am I a good mother?” spiral seemed to open a crack...
On great days I feel blessed to have roots and connections in so many places. I especially love that I can access my multi-cultural upbringing to relate with all kinds of people in different languages. I rarely find new people or places intimidating. I’m brave. I’d adventurous. The world is my oyster.
Mostly, and especially on wise days, I remember that where I’m from isn’t what really matters, but where I'm going does.
The impact that I have on the world and those around me - my legacy - is ultimately what matters to me. No matter how complex my sense of racial and cultural identity, no matter who I am with or where I am living, I am very clear on my values, what matters to me and my goals for positive impact and success in the world. My roots are with the people I love and who love me. My tribe are the people who share my values.
What will be your legacy? Are you looking to move forward with clarity, certainty and confidence? I am a life coach and I can help. Let’s chat.